Today is June 30th, 2019, the last day of PRIDE month, and I have to say that this month especially, has been good to me. It has been good to me, for this month, I truly lived in my truth. Now you may ask, "What do you mean?" "I thought you were openly gay?", and I am. I am a proud woman, who represents the "L" in LGBTQ. However, even with being a proud lesbian, there are many moments I try to hide in my truth. Struggling daily with finding a true balance between masculinity and femininity. Feeling like I have to choose which side I should identify, although both are equal representations of who I am. Whether I should take on the labels people try to place on me as a gay black woman... or to be myself... and live in my truth.
This month, I was blessed tremendously in finding my light. Learning the basics of being comfortable in my skin and really in my sexuality.
My girlfriend, a wonderful woman she is, has never dated a woman outside of me. She has been with men her whole life and never had the urge to date or be intimate with a woman..and then one day she met me. And her whole life went into a new spiral. A new spiral because she, a woman who had been confident in her sexuality her whole life, was now questioning who she was, and who she was going to become. She had a lot of doubt and was filled with a lot of confusion. But even though it is my first time dating a straight woman (despite the rumors you hear, not all lesbians want to date straight women), it wasn't my first time dating a woman like her, and I had to help her through her journey of living in her truth. I had to show her, my girl, that love is love, and it's nothing wrong with you for falling in love with someone who is of the same gender. But even with my teachings for her, she taught me. She teaches me... daily. She teaches me to love on myself, be myself, and not limit myself to one variation of who I am and who I want to be.
This month I lived in my truth out LOUD. I bought pride and wore it on my sleeves. I let the world know that, hey THIS IS ME, I'm comfortable truly in my skin. I went to a club with my girlfriend, in matching pride shirts, and honey let me tell you, we got plenty of stares. And at first I was uneasy, uneasy because I had never worn pride shit to a club, and then I never wore matching pride shit to a club, with my significant other, but I did. And once I realized that "Hey, who gives AF? It's my life, my truth.", I begin to shed the clothes of uneasiness, and marinated in my truth.
So I write this article to say, if you are struggling with living in your truth, Don't. Whether you be gay, straight, bi, or questioning, don't be afraid to be you. Nobody wants someone who wants to be someone else, so be you.
PRIDE month is not just for gays to live out loud, but in my opinion, it's for everyone to have pride in loving who they are and the skin they are in. It is a month where people who usually feel exiled, feel supported. People who are lost, become found. People who are trapped, feel free. It is a month, to celebrate the beauty of your individuality, and know that there is a group of people who resonate with similar beliefs as you. Therefore, I am grateful for this month of June, for it gave me more confidence as a creative, but also as an androgynous black lesbian woman.
So cheers to PRIDE.
Remember to Love Life, Live the Life you Love, and LIVE IN YOUR TRUTH.